just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
