The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
did you just send me my own nude
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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