census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
