I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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