he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
