Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
