Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
