I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
