you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
