Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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