you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
