HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
