We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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