alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
