I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
