I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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