mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
