Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
