yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
