Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
