dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
