so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
