please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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