I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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