They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
