Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
