But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
