I cockslap morals
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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