You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
