1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I party with great urgency now.
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