the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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