He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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