The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
