And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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