oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
