I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
They are going to name an STD after you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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