I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
