WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
