Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
wow bdsm is so cute
I have post one night stand depression
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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