Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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