You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
