This beer is not sobering me up at all
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
