its not stalking. its research.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
