I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
