The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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