Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
