I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think your dad took our porno
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
