How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
