And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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