i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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