Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
