I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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